How To Lead Conversations

In this section we will talk about leading direct message conversations into making a real connection for:

• A phone call
• A video meeting
• An in-person meeting

If there is one thing I have learned over the years of connecting with people, it is that often, we over think things. We worry about asking for a number or trying to take that next step into something and the result is never as scary as we make it look in our heads. Even if they say no, big deal. It’s clear that:

• We haven’t established enough rapport with this person for them to understand your value; or
• They aren’t worth spending time trying to befriend or add to your network.

Don’t waste time on people who don’t want to spend their time on you. Move to the next one. If you want someone’s phone number, ask for it. As long as you aren’t a creep or a weirdo, they are going to know that it is for business purposes.

What I am going to do next, is establish when it is okay to ask for the phone number:

• Start a conversation through an Instagram DM (Use the scripts available in the following lesson).
• Remind the person of how you met them (if in person) or mention that you stumbled across their profile while going through hashtags.
• Give them a compliment or two on their Instagram and mention how you see that they are on the road to success and will get there in no time.
• Ask a few personal questions based off what you can see on their profile or something from where their profile links out to.
• Tell them how you can potentially provide value or help them or why you want network with them. Even if the reason is that you feel like they are going to be extremely successful one day and you’d be stupid not to connect with them now. People are super flattered by comments like that ????
• Have a bit more conversation with them. Hopefully they continue responding. Keep in mind that sometimes people get off Instagram and take time to respond to DMs. Give them time. There have been times where I have assumed people were ignoring me when really, they are just busy. Don’t jump to conclusions.
• Ask them if there is a better way to get in contact with them. Generally, people will give you their phone number or if they aren’t comfortable enough they will say they use their Instagram and you can just stay in contact through there.
• If you have their number, give them a call the next day and talk about a few things and then discuss when they are available to meet in person. Or if they didn’t give you their number, simply ask when they would want to meet in person and if they are a coffee or tea person. In certain circumstances, you could do a bar because some people prefer alcohol. The thing is that the bar will get expensive for the next step.
• Meet them in person! Go with them to the counter and offer to pay couple dollars for their coffee or tea. If they say no, then insist! You’ll be very surprised how powerful buying someone something is for building a relationship.
• Spend 90% of the time there talking about them, what they are interested in, what they are building and doing and what their goals are.
• Tell them about you and what you can potentially do for them.
• Make sure you end the meeting with a follow-up meeting or task you are going to do for them to provide value, which is keeping you in contact with them. There are a lot of other tactics and tricks to this entire thing but it’s way too advanced and not necessary. You will get into your own rhythm and figure out what works best for you.

None of this is really complicated. It’s just about DOING IT. The hustle. Stopping the fear you have of just going for it.

In the next lesson, I provide scripts for you to use to start the conversations, as well as just stay in contact with connections you have already made.